dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
