thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
