He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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