her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
ttyl tear gas
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
