I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
