You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
