Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
