I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
