I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize