I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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