before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
They have beer where we have blood.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize