hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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