God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
