After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
