how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
