she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
