hotel room ftw
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
