I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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