what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
