I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
