i jhust puked up my retainher.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
