butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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