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plz talk dirty to me
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We need to get me chipped asap
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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