You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
