youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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