No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
