Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize