The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
