is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
