Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
