You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
