Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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