The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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