And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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