i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
