I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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