My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
