My sheets look like a crime scene.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize