Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
