): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
