: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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