I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
