and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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