THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
