I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
