Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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