You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
