I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
