This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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