I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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