his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
