I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
