You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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