i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
