she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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