you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
