we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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