I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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