Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
