I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize