my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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