i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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