Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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