so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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