no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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