I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize