FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
