I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
