i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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