Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
