well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
