Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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