so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My liver just had a heart attack.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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