If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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