I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
